I don't know if any of you have seen the new ads for Domino's Pizza that let you order your pizza online. After leaving ASU I swore I would never eat another pizza, but more specifically, another Domino's Pizza. However like most hatred, it fades over time, & you get lazy.
So regardless of your feelings about Domino's, the fact that you can order it online without having to talk to a human being is fantastic.
Type a little on your computer and magically a pizza shows up at your door. It's the closest thing we have to Star Trek's food synthesizer. Only it takes about 25 minutes to work. And the food delivery unit at my Domino's has a bad mustache.
But I also love the amount of control they give you. Beyond choosing your crust, each topping comes with your choice of "light," "normal," or "heavy." --Until I thought about what other product I had been given those choices. I'm sure none of you poor saps have ever been sent out on that errand. Gross, ok forget I said that.
But what I've become obsessed with is that when you only want a particular topping on half of your pizza, they make you specify WHICH HALF. LEFT or RIGHT.
I had ordered from them a few times but never paid attention to see if they got the halves correct. I was curious to see if it really would arrive the way I ordered it.
Did the Domino's food synthesizer honor the options I was forced to choose?
So regardless of your feelings about Domino's, the fact that you can order it online without having to talk to a human being is fantastic.
Type a little on your computer and magically a pizza shows up at your door. It's the closest thing we have to Star Trek's food synthesizer. Only it takes about 25 minutes to work. And the food delivery unit at my Domino's has a bad mustache.
But I also love the amount of control they give you. Beyond choosing your crust, each topping comes with your choice of "light," "normal," or "heavy." --Until I thought about what other product I had been given those choices. I'm sure none of you poor saps have ever been sent out on that errand. Gross, ok forget I said that.
But what I've become obsessed with is that when you only want a particular topping on half of your pizza, they make you specify WHICH HALF. LEFT or RIGHT.
I had ordered from them a few times but never paid attention to see if they got the halves correct. I was curious to see if it really would arrive the way I ordered it.Last night I performed a test.
I placed my order, requesting PEPPERONI on the LEFT and MUSHROOMS on the RIGHT.
They also offer a "NONE" option on all toppings. It's even available on the "CHEESE" and "SAUCE" rows -- so just to be a dick, I also ordered a 6-inch individual "NONE" pizza with BEEF (on the left).
25 minutes later there was a dude at my door with food. (Someday that dude will be a robot with a bad mustache and my life will be perfect.)
It is flat-out sad how excited I was to open the boxes.
Did the Domino's food synthesizer honor the options I was forced to choose?
NO. 
Yes it was cut in half, obviously you can see the dividing line was exactly 90 degrees up the middle, BUT my mushrooms were on the left!
I realize it's all arbitrary and the options are presented for clarity, but if they're going to force me to make the choice, then they could at least give me what I wanted and put it in the box correctly.
It was close, but the whole pizza was so small and light it must have shifted during delivery. And the little beef pellets didn't have any sauce or cheese to hang on to, so a few lost their footing from the left half.
After we ate most of it I saw on the box that my satisfaction was "guaranteed," and that if I wasn't completely satisfied -- they would "make it right" or refund my money.
Unfortunately they told me it was too late for me to call and request that someone come back to my house to rotate the pizzas and re-position my beef pellets.
I will have Mitch write a letter to Obama requesting that the fixing of this issue gets put into the agenda.
Yes it was cut in half, obviously you can see the dividing line was exactly 90 degrees up the middle, BUT my mushrooms were on the left!I realize it's all arbitrary and the options are presented for clarity, but if they're going to force me to make the choice, then they could at least give me what I wanted and put it in the box correctly.
And as far as the "NONE Pizza with Left Beef"...
It was close, but the whole pizza was so small and light it must have shifted during delivery. And the little beef pellets didn't have any sauce or cheese to hang on to, so a few lost their footing from the left half.
After we ate most of it I saw on the box that my satisfaction was "guaranteed," and that if I wasn't completely satisfied -- they would "make it right" or refund my money. Unfortunately they told me it was too late for me to call and request that someone come back to my house to rotate the pizzas and re-position my beef pellets.
I will have Mitch write a letter to Obama requesting that the fixing of this issue gets put into the agenda.
3 comments:
That post was too damn funny. Can you imagine if this was available while we were at ASU.....if you could add on the Top's Liquor beer truck to the order we would have never left the Pike house.
The email to Obama's camp is on the way.
Absolutely classic
One of the best posts I've ever read. I have not payed attention, but the writers must still be on strike, hope you get back to work quickly...
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